So. Freaking. Hosed.

[ultranos]

Currently working on the setting for "Pirates of Dark Matter". It wants to be more serious than I originally thought, which means extra work for me, dammit. At least it's just the setting and not mechanics, since I think d20 Future (off of d20 Modern) should work. If I end up liking the setting enough, I might figure out where I can post it (I'm writing it in .tex, so it'll be a .pdf). I guess this will mean I get off my butt about actual webspace.

The other campaign I'm apparently writing is still searching for a system to use. Who knew steampunk with magic was so freaking hard to find.

End of term cannot come soon enough. Yeesh. Also, I wish the trees would stop trying to kill me.

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[abyssinia4077.livejournal.com]

it helps me believe that we aren't really that insane

Well, to be fair people from my undergrad tend to get along with and have a lot in common with people from your undergrad, so I wouldn't discount the insane thing.

Maybe I asked this before, but why chemistry, and now, why the earth sciences (I think?) for grad school?

Phew. Okay.
So I've *always* been really good at math and good at science (you know, how the science-brain works). When I was in 5th grade I decided I would be an astronaut and to do so I would get my PhD in astrophysics and to do so I would get my undergrad degree in physics. I did all sorts of science extra-curriculars growing up - did classes at FermiLab and the Adler Planetarium, worked at Argonne's physics department. I was All Gung-Ho about physics.

Then I went to college. And Physics? SUCKED. It made math ugly. It didn't make intuitive sense (mechanics and my brain? Are Not Friends). I struggled and cursed and cried and angsted because I'd spent 8 freaking years in love with physics and now it looked like physics wasn't where I fit. I also paid more attention to...the subculture of physics and realized I didn't really like it.

So I needed a different major. My school had a grand total of 6. Math was out - not practical enough and not sure what I'd do with it. Computer Science was out - don't want that much time in front of a computer and prefer hands-on labs. Biology was out because I have a stubborn stupid thing about feeling like I'm *supposed* to be a biologist and thus refuse to do it. Engineering I...didn't really look at seriously. And physics wasn't working.

But chemistry? Chemistry I was loving and kicking ass at. And then I realized that the parts of physics I liked (atomic physics and quantum and stuff) are really chemistry in disguise. Plus my school had a kick-ass, usually ranked #1, chemistry department. And chemistry didn't have the nasty subculture. So I became a chemist. And Organic chemistry kicked my ass and made me cry. A lot. But the rest was great.

But then I hit graduate school, staying in chemistry because I was a chemist, and was bored and uninspired. I realized that as much as I liked exploring problems and doing chemistry and gaining knowledge, I needed to feel like there was a point to my work beyond expanding scientific knowledge. I started thinking that maybe I should have been an engineer.

So I left. I did other stuff. The new field (technically environmental studies) works for me for a lot of ways. I love interdisciplinary work and this will let me use physics and chemistry and math and ecology and geology and geography and also policy and sociology and law and economics to. It lets me work on real-world problems and try to find real-world solutions. It lets me be in the field and in the lab. And I'm working for a super-respected environmental engineer who got her degrees from MIT, so I can end up billing myself as a scientist or a policy person or something else.

I love science. I love solving puzzles and figuring out how the world works. But what I've found is that my biggest talent as a scientist is that I can bridge the communication gap between scientists and non-scientists. I care deeply about the environmental field, and I think it's a field that can really use people with that skillset.

Um. Yeah :)