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ultranos
Memoranda from the Usual Suspects
Media List:
Currently Watching:
-- She-Ra(in theory)
Currently Playing:)
--Fire Emblem: Awakening (3DS)
--Astral Chain (Switch)
--itch.io bundle (PC)
Currently Reading:
Fiction
-The Silence of Bones, June Hur
Nonfiction
-none
------------------
"So she's good cop, he's bad cop, you're morally-questionable cop, and I'm set-things-on-fire cop."
"Sounds about right."
--------
"WARNING: When attempting to be clever, make sure you not actually just being stupid."
--------
"Did you remember to sacrifice the goat before burning the ISO to the DVD-R?"
"Crap! Um, I've got a charred piece of meat here."
"That's called a steak. That's dinner. What about the sacrifices?"
--------
"I escape through quantum-tunneling. What do I need to roll for that?"
--------
"Why is it called a 'Monkeylord'?"
"Because it looks like a spider."
--------
"I have a moral objection to this problem. It implies microwaving a steak."
--------
"Did you eat the crazy cookies this morning?"
--------
"The GPU goes 4 by 4, hurrah, hurrah."
Currently Watching:
-- She-Ra(in theory)
Currently Playing:)
--Fire Emblem: Awakening (3DS)
--Astral Chain (Switch)
--itch.io bundle (PC)
Currently Reading:
Fiction
-The Silence of Bones, June Hur
Nonfiction
-none
------------------
"So she's good cop, he's bad cop, you're morally-questionable cop, and I'm set-things-on-fire cop."
"Sounds about right."
--------
"WARNING: When attempting to be clever, make sure you not actually just being stupid."
--------
"Did you remember to sacrifice the goat before burning the ISO to the DVD-R?"
"Crap! Um, I've got a charred piece of meat here."
"That's called a steak. That's dinner. What about the sacrifices?"
--------
"I escape through quantum-tunneling. What do I need to roll for that?"
--------
"Why is it called a 'Monkeylord'?"
"Because it looks like a spider."
--------
"I have a moral objection to this problem. It implies microwaving a steak."
--------
"Did you eat the crazy cookies this morning?"
--------
"The GPU goes 4 by 4, hurrah, hurrah."
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And I felt lower than dirt for that.
And that's the thing. For some reason, at least for me, owning that I AM Mixed is somehow more deeply personal when I talk about it. Because there's a lot of family history and pain and it took a heck of a lot of bravery for both my parents (my mother didn't speak with her father for a year, because my grandfather couldn't deal with the fact she was dating a white man). But...it feels disingenuous to deny that.
So I'm trying to own the term Mixed. But it's so very, very hard, because in discussions like these, I feel so very caught in the middle. Because I can see both sides, and there's this choking, burning sensation in my throat and yet I'm afraid to speak because I can't "choose" a side. Because choosing hurts more.