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It's 3AM, and I'm still awake for some reason. I wake up in the mornings now, and I don't want to crawl out of bed. It's not exhaustion; it's fatigue. Exhaustion is a temporary state. You sleep it off and then you're fine. Fatigue is when you've been oscillating between exhaustion and not for weeks, and the sleep-debt you've racked up numbers in the double digits.
It's getting close to that point of term where my diet consists of caffeine and ibuprofin. Since it's spring, I'll get to mix that with doses of Benadryl every once in awhile to make sure I can breathe and actually get sleep when I can catch it. (Sometimes, I'm amazed I'm even alive, based on the punishment I put myself through.)
I swear, someday I'll figure out why I thought it was a good idea to take the course load I did. Well, the problem is two particular classes: one wants to drown you in lab reports (at least 1 due/week) and the other one expands to fill all available free time. Since they're in two different departments, no one was able to warn me that I was doing a really stupid thing.
Three weeks, though and it's all over. Just got to make it to May 15th. It makes me frustrated that I'm so knee-deep in work, because I feel like I should be doing more for this beta-testing thing. I feel like I'm not pulling my weight here.
It's funny, because I'm not much of a software person. And I say that with a certain amount of irony, because I'm the go-to software person in my family. But I live with CS majors and know people who write OSes in a term, who have had academic conversations with Stallman, and I'm so very much not them.
But because of them, and because of natural inclination, I have a deep and abiding love for the open source movement. Engineering, software development, progress...none of these can exist in a vacuum. Progress is made by building on what those who went before you built. And by doing it better. That's why I'm enamored by the idea of Dreamwidth here, and why I want it to succeed. Because, to me, it's progress. It's that spirit of taking and remaking better, faster, stronger. It's the stuff I learn every day, that taking of an idea and asking "how do we make this better"?
I'm not quite sure how this turned into my own "Dreamwidth Manifesto", but there you go.
That's what I am, that's what I dream, that's what I do. Always have and always will. I realized this years ago, arms-deep in a box of scraps and told to build a robot (true. story.), and never happier. I learned then that I'm a builder, and then took steps down a path that eventually coming to an end.
If I get the funding (I hope I get the funding), I'll be working at the Media Lab for the summer on a bunch of different projects as their jack-of-all-trades type person. Hopefully, one of those projects will be good enough to turn into a thesis. And more than that, I'll have fun doing it.
It's getting close to that point of term where my diet consists of caffeine and ibuprofin. Since it's spring, I'll get to mix that with doses of Benadryl every once in awhile to make sure I can breathe and actually get sleep when I can catch it. (Sometimes, I'm amazed I'm even alive, based on the punishment I put myself through.)
I swear, someday I'll figure out why I thought it was a good idea to take the course load I did. Well, the problem is two particular classes: one wants to drown you in lab reports (at least 1 due/week) and the other one expands to fill all available free time. Since they're in two different departments, no one was able to warn me that I was doing a really stupid thing.
Three weeks, though and it's all over. Just got to make it to May 15th. It makes me frustrated that I'm so knee-deep in work, because I feel like I should be doing more for this beta-testing thing. I feel like I'm not pulling my weight here.
It's funny, because I'm not much of a software person. And I say that with a certain amount of irony, because I'm the go-to software person in my family. But I live with CS majors and know people who write OSes in a term, who have had academic conversations with Stallman, and I'm so very much not them.
But because of them, and because of natural inclination, I have a deep and abiding love for the open source movement. Engineering, software development, progress...none of these can exist in a vacuum. Progress is made by building on what those who went before you built. And by doing it better. That's why I'm enamored by the idea of Dreamwidth here, and why I want it to succeed. Because, to me, it's progress. It's that spirit of taking and remaking better, faster, stronger. It's the stuff I learn every day, that taking of an idea and asking "how do we make this better"?
I'm not quite sure how this turned into my own "Dreamwidth Manifesto", but there you go.
That's what I am, that's what I dream, that's what I do. Always have and always will. I realized this years ago, arms-deep in a box of scraps and told to build a robot (true. story.), and never happier. I learned then that I'm a builder, and then took steps down a path that eventually coming to an end.
If I get the funding (I hope I get the funding), I'll be working at the Media Lab for the summer on a bunch of different projects as their jack-of-all-trades type person. Hopefully, one of those projects will be good enough to turn into a thesis. And more than that, I'll have fun doing it.
