![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I think the 'gateverse spoiled me a bit. As I've mentioned (many) times before, I wandered into this particular branch of the asylum from anime/manga and video games. Which basically means I'm pretty darn used to small, obscure fandoms, even if I didn't participate in them. (How small? Yuletide doesn't even have 'em.) Except nowadays, I'm grumpy about it.
The relevance here is that I've been rewatching Kino no Tabi or Kino's Journey. (And I somehow managed to forget what a mind screw "Land of Books" was. Oy, my head.) I watched it the first time summer after freshman year, back when I was moody and depressive. It helped kick me out of that phase, being exactly the lyrical, philosophical, and slightly artsy thing I needed. So much that immediately following finishing the series, I went and dropped over $60 on importing an artbook and short story picture book I can't even read.
My moments of sheer fangirlism are expensive. I'm glad I don't actually get hit with them often.
Anyway, I'm mostly irritated in my own laziness for getting scared out of taking Japanese, because it's really, really frustrating that the official translation of the light novels are being held up by legal issues and Baka-Tsuki only has a few stories out of the other eleven novels translated into English. (Okay, so I also really wanted to do my humanities concentration in Comparative Media Studies, which I did, and thus could not actually fit Japanese into my schedule, but still. I'm allowed to have unreasonable expectations of myself.)
And I'm losing my train of thought because it's 3:45 in the morning. (And I seem to be abusing italics in this post. And parenthetical remarks.)
I think the point of this was that I'm slightly bemused that I'm slipping back into old modes of comfort fandoms and tastes in media. Makes me wonder if how I dove headfirst into 'gateverse fandom was a one-off thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I did, because I actually got involved in fandom instead of being the Eternal Lurker, not to mention meeting a whole bunch of awesome people. But I'm not finding, well, Western media gripping me in the same way, but instead I'm hearing the siren song of JRPGs and anime/manga again. (Blame Atlus and Persona 4...a lot.) At this point, Leverage is about the only thing on American TV that's guaranteed to get me to watch.
(No, I still have not caught up with Sanctuary, and am still lost somewhere in s1. I dunno why I'm just not getting around to watching it, even when I had a whole lot of free time.)
Maybe I'm just bad at TV.
Speaking of things I used to do, I was digging around my room a while ago when I excavated some old folders of mine full of old sketches and drawings. I have come to the following conclusions:
a) I was a much better artist 4-5 years ago than I am now, and
b) this is clearly Wrong of me and I should Fix it.
Which might explain how I managed to purchase 3 sketchbooks within 4 weeks. Not that I've used them all, but I have. Although now I remember why I only draw on one side of the page, because the pencil always freaking smudges when the book is closed and lives in my backpack. I forgot how irritating that is. But I'm trying to draw more, and I need to give more time to relaxing hobbies like that. This was also the logic behind finally buying new guitar strings for both my guitars after nearly 10 years of disuse, because I figure I should remember how to play without the expectations of other people pushing me to do it. I got disinterested in playing because I felt pushed to the point where it stopped being fun, so I pushed back. But drawing has always been mine, and I remember some drawings I really wish I could find that are probably really interesting looks into my psyche as a teenager. (No, seriously. I had a phase of drawing winged humanoids/angelic beings, and you could probably tell exactly what my mood was at the time based on if the subject of the drawing was flying or not.)
I just want it back, I guess. Maybe because I'm getting prepared to take the next great big flying leap into the Great Unknown in a few months. I always get like this at times like this. As if I'm trying to figure out what to carry with me and what to leave behind. Not so much as putting away childish things, but making sure I hold tight onto things that are Me. I don't know if that makes any sense whatsoever; maybe I'm just crazy.
The relevance here is that I've been rewatching Kino no Tabi or Kino's Journey. (And I somehow managed to forget what a mind screw "Land of Books" was. Oy, my head.) I watched it the first time summer after freshman year, back when I was moody and depressive. It helped kick me out of that phase, being exactly the lyrical, philosophical, and slightly artsy thing I needed. So much that immediately following finishing the series, I went and dropped over $60 on importing an artbook and short story picture book I can't even read.
My moments of sheer fangirlism are expensive. I'm glad I don't actually get hit with them often.
Anyway, I'm mostly irritated in my own laziness for getting scared out of taking Japanese, because it's really, really frustrating that the official translation of the light novels are being held up by legal issues and Baka-Tsuki only has a few stories out of the other eleven novels translated into English. (Okay, so I also really wanted to do my humanities concentration in Comparative Media Studies, which I did, and thus could not actually fit Japanese into my schedule, but still. I'm allowed to have unreasonable expectations of myself.)
And I'm losing my train of thought because it's 3:45 in the morning. (And I seem to be abusing italics in this post. And parenthetical remarks.)
I think the point of this was that I'm slightly bemused that I'm slipping back into old modes of comfort fandoms and tastes in media. Makes me wonder if how I dove headfirst into 'gateverse fandom was a one-off thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I did, because I actually got involved in fandom instead of being the Eternal Lurker, not to mention meeting a whole bunch of awesome people. But I'm not finding, well, Western media gripping me in the same way, but instead I'm hearing the siren song of JRPGs and anime/manga again. (Blame Atlus and Persona 4...a lot.) At this point, Leverage is about the only thing on American TV that's guaranteed to get me to watch.
(No, I still have not caught up with Sanctuary, and am still lost somewhere in s1. I dunno why I'm just not getting around to watching it, even when I had a whole lot of free time.)
Maybe I'm just bad at TV.
Speaking of things I used to do, I was digging around my room a while ago when I excavated some old folders of mine full of old sketches and drawings. I have come to the following conclusions:
a) I was a much better artist 4-5 years ago than I am now, and
b) this is clearly Wrong of me and I should Fix it.
Which might explain how I managed to purchase 3 sketchbooks within 4 weeks. Not that I've used them all, but I have. Although now I remember why I only draw on one side of the page, because the pencil always freaking smudges when the book is closed and lives in my backpack. I forgot how irritating that is. But I'm trying to draw more, and I need to give more time to relaxing hobbies like that. This was also the logic behind finally buying new guitar strings for both my guitars after nearly 10 years of disuse, because I figure I should remember how to play without the expectations of other people pushing me to do it. I got disinterested in playing because I felt pushed to the point where it stopped being fun, so I pushed back. But drawing has always been mine, and I remember some drawings I really wish I could find that are probably really interesting looks into my psyche as a teenager. (No, seriously. I had a phase of drawing winged humanoids/angelic beings, and you could probably tell exactly what my mood was at the time based on if the subject of the drawing was flying or not.)
I just want it back, I guess. Maybe because I'm getting prepared to take the next great big flying leap into the Great Unknown in a few months. I always get like this at times like this. As if I'm trying to figure out what to carry with me and what to leave behind. Not so much as putting away childish things, but making sure I hold tight onto things that are Me. I don't know if that makes any sense whatsoever; maybe I'm just crazy.
